BALCONY TUESDAY

It has been said, time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue  and the pain lessens. But it is never gone. One lives in the hope of becoming a memory. I think it is all a matter of love; the more you love a memory the stronger and stranger it becomes . To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.

You must learn some of my philosophy. Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure because a song can take you back instantly to a moment, or a place, or even a person. no matter what else has changed in you or the world, that one song stays the same, just like that moment. Silently, one by one, in the infinite meadows of heaven, Blossomed the lovely stars, the forget-me-nots of the angels.

There is no death, A. People die only when we forget them, M explained shortly before she left me. If you can remember me, I will be with you always. Do you not know that a person is not dead while his/her name is still spoken? When the remembering was done, the forgetting could begin. It takes a huge effort to free yourself from memory. When we think of the past it's the beautiful things we pick out. We want to believe it was all like that.

People always talk about how hard it can be to remember things - where they left their keys, or the name of an acquaintance - but no one ever talks about how much effort we put into forgetting. I am exhausted from the effort to forget... There are things that have to be forgotten if you want to go on living. There are two ways to live a life either forget everything or, remember nothing.

You remember only what you want to remember. You know only what your heart allows you to know. You are remembered for the rules you break. When I'm dead, I want to be remembered as a musician of some worth and substance. The living owe it to those who no longer can speak to tell their story for them. There is no death in remembrance.  Nothing is really lost as long as you remember it